dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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