I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
