Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
My balls are so social today.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
