Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
he laminated a picture of his dick.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
