there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
You may now shotgun with the bride
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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