i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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