Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
