wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
