Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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