her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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