dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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