well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
