well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Drunk is not a location!
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
