my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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