I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
