brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
