i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
