So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
