dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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