Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
