I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Randomize
