if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
