oh god the rape fog is back!
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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