I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
