Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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