Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
