i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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