He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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