needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
