my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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