I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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