"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
