just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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