Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
