I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
