I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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