My brain says no but my pants say off.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
