none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
