id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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