Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
