I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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