There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
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