Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
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