Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
