it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
