so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
