Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
