I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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