She went from zero to smokin in five shots
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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