Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Randomize
