I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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