whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
